11-16-09: Neurosurgeon Employment Posting

The Kolinski Chronicle in an attempt to clarify why the Federal government thinks it wise and prudent to place a neurosurgeon with a minimum of seventeen (17) years of technical medical training under the control and authority of four (4) year political science majors has written two role playing job advertisements; one which applies to 2009; and a second one which might appropriately apply in 2013 after our Federal government has fully embarked upon its illegal and unConstitutional destruction of the finest health care currently available in the world.

2009 Job Posting: Neurosurgeon

Minimum Qualifications and Requirements (17-years training typical):
• 4-years undergraduate degree program with emphasis in physics, biology, mathematics, inorganic chemistry, organic chemistry and English.
• 4-years medical school with emphasis is in anatomy, biochemistry, physiology, pharmacology, psychology, microbiology, pathology, medical ethics and laws governing medicine along with experience in taking medical histories, examining patients and diagnosing of illnesses.
• 2-year internship with major accredited hospital
• 7-year residency including specialty training with major accredited hospital
• Successful completion of State licensing exam
• State Board Certification

Locations:
• Any major hospital in the United States or one of 146 accredited medical schools.

Salary:
• $500,000 to $700,000 annually
• Benefits with Blue Cross-Blue Shield.

Terms of employment:
• The neurosurgeon will be 100% accountable for all patient care and treatment and will be held liable for any errors in judgment or practice.

Support:
• Assigned team of associated specialists available to consult on all aspects of patient care and treatment.
• Assigned team of R.N.’s and associated professional nursing staff.
• $225,000 annual medical liability insurance premium paid by hospital.

Employment Conditions:
• The individual applying for the position of neurosurgeon must be self motivated and willing to consistently work 80+ hours per week (70+ hours per week after 15-years).
• Must have gentle, understanding bedside manner and be able to work with traumatized, anxious patients.
• Must be able to cope with limitations and frustrations resulting from government enforced insurance carrier mandates.

2013 Job Posting: Neurosurgeon

Minimum Qualifications and Requirements (17-years training typical):
• 4-years undergraduate degree program with emphasis in physics, biology, mathematics, inorganic chemistry, organic chemistry and English.
• 4-years medical school with emphasis is in anatomy, biochemistry, physiology, pharmacology, psychology, microbiology, pathology, medical ethics and laws governing medicine along with experience in taking medical histories, examining patients and diagnosing of illnesses.
• 2-year internship with major accredited hospital
• 7-year residency including specialty training with major accredited hospital
• Successful completion of State licensing exam
• State Board Certification

Locations:
• Any hospital or clinic still offering expensive neuro-services in the United States.

Salary:
• $48,000 annually, subject to collective penalties and/or reduction without notice by the National Health Coordinator of Health Information Technology or the Federal Coordinating Council on Comparative Effectiveness Research.
• Benefits are universal, but not up to snuff with those received by the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives, which are extensive as these are important people and their benefits are partially and cost effectively paid for by your Federal tax payments, which by the way are expected to be 55% of your gross earnings, but of course, are subject to increase without notice depending on how the stimulus bill is working out.
• Your personal educational expenses and/or loans are not a federally approved expense and cannot be reimbursed under the Federal Coordinating Council on Comparative Effectiveness Research rules and regulations.

Support:
• Your boss, the appointed Washington D.C. health czar, the unelected National Health Coordinator of Health Information Technology. This new position for head rationing boss, whom you will answer to, although you cannot actually speak with him or her and Congress cannot oversee him or her was helpfully created by the 2009 stimulus bill. Isn’t that special? Government stimulus helping health. It’s so helpful and will make your job so much easier.
• Your other bosses, the unelected rationing (death panel) committee created under the unread 2009 stimulus bill all work for the Federal Coordinating Council on Comparative Effectiveness Research. This unelected fifteen person panel will rule on which procedures you can use, who can receive these procedures and how much the permitted procedure can cost. Violation of Council rules will be punishable to the maximum extent of the law.
• End of life counseling will be available (not for you) for your elderly patients, those 55-years of age and beyond, to patiently explain why they can no longer receive treatment. As a neurosurgeon you cannot be personally burdened with explaining to old people how their now unproductive lives do not justify the high cost of treatment. This is articulately shown graphically and in color on Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel’s Reaper Curve. Dr. Ezekiel Emanuel, Rahm Emanuel’s brother and close medical advisor (almost a czar really) of Chairman O is a famous bioethicist who loves to show his chart on the “Probability of Receiving an Intervention versus Age. It makes a pragmatic and convincing argument for reducing the health care costs typically incurred by foolish Doctors honoring the rather outdated Hippocratic Oath. Dr. Ezekiel understands a Doctor’s primary responsibility is to work for the “greater good” of society as opposed to blindly and expensively focusing on a patient’s needs. This counseling program will help reduce your neurological case load significantly thereby allowing for more time to be spent on government franchised, low cost golf courses.
• Electronic Federal government tracking of all medical procedures to make sure any procedures unapproved (due to cost) by the Coordinating Council, that is errors in your medical judgment are inappropriately employed in any patient’s treatment. Violate this rule only at the peril of your licensure.
• You will now have the helpful assistance of fifty-two (52) new Federal government bureaucracies whose job it is to determine how, when and how much you will treat your patients. You no longer have to speak directly with your patients. You will not have to, and in fact cannot, treat any patient until all 52 committees have appropriately signed off on the appropriate approved, cost effective treatment option. Time is not of the essence so your job as neurosurgeon is now more relaxed and enjoyable.
• You will no longer directly prescribe medications for your patients. You will apply on your patient’s behalf to one or more, the actual number is uncertain, of the 52 new Federal health care bureaucracies to receive approval and instructions for the cost effective dispensing of medications, particularly for those fifty-five years of age or older who really don’t need as much medicine as they used to receive. This process may be extensive and delays and shortages should be expected as under the table financial payoffs are negotiated between Congressional Members and the remaining few pharmaceutical manufacturers. Don’t let this bother you. As a professional neurosurgeon you should use your time wisely.

Employment Conditions:
• The individual applying for the position of neurosurgeon must be outer motivated and willing to consistently work 80+ hours per week, of which at least five hours must be reported and claimed to be in treatment of patients. Your central planning paper work is important and prodigious. Do not falter in its execution.
• Must be willing to attend daily meetings and correspond at least weekly with all 52 Federal health care bureaucracies on all patient care. This can be expected to require up to 75 hours per week and is your number one health care priority. If these 52 Federal bureaucracies cannot answer your questions, it is not your fault. Your patients will have to understand that the cost of health care is more significant to universal coverage than the actuality of providing medical treatment. After all, they voted for change in ’08 and by gosh, they’re getting it aren’t they. This isn’t 2009 anymore and things are very complicated. For patients who do not understand, counseling can be made available by applying for counseling coverage at one of the 52 new Federal health care bureaucracies. We don’t know just yet, which of the 52 agencies will try to handle this, but one or more almost certainly will.
• Must be amenable and willing to forego all personal responsibility and take direct orders on all procedures from the health czar, that is, the National Health Coordinator of Health Information Technology along with his or her Federal Coordinating Council on Comparative Effectiveness Research. Should there be an unanticipated ambiguity regarding practice or treatment you will have 52 helpful Federal health care agencies, each staffed with important, caring people equipped with answering machines to help you sort it out, but don’t call us – we’ll call you.

All neurosurgeon applications will be fairly and equitably processed in the order they are received. Please mark the box indicating which political party you support and your sexual preference. Regardless of party your application must be accompanied by a $150 donation to the Democrat Party along with your signed SEIU Union Card. Submittal of this application enjoins you as a life long, monthly dues paying member of the SEIU.

Always remember, “We Care About People Helping Government!”

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2 Comments

Filed under Health Care Reform is Stalking Your Family

2 responses to “11-16-09: Neurosurgeon Employment Posting

  1. Really Nice Write-up AND I’d like TO Place THIS Document IN MY Website.

  2. Hello. My name Sishshick, i like your forum
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